Everybody Loves Raymond: Season 1, Episode 1 Pilot

Watch The EPIC Comedy Series of Everybody Loves Raymond

Everybody Loves Raymond is an American television sitcom starring Ray Romano, Patricia Heaton, Brad Garrett, Doris Roberts, and Peter Boyle. It originally ran on CBS from September 13, 1996, to May 16, 2005. Many of the situations from the show are based on the real-life experiences of Romano, creator/producer Phil Rosenthal and the show's writing staff. The main characters on the show are loosely based on Romano's and Rosenthal's real-life family members.

Everybody Loves Raymond Season 1 Episode 1 

Storyline

Debra doesn't want Raymond's family to barge in unannounced from across the street on her birthday, so it's up to Raymond to gently break the news to them.

Quotes:

Ray: Okay, alright, I'm gonna ask you quickly and quietly to move to your nearest exit.
Debra: How did he ever become a police sergeant?
Ray: Cause he's a good cop, and they didn't make him count. Or eat.
Frank: Marie—
Marie: I can't talk! There's too much fruit in the house!

Ray: Let's see, when I proposed you were 23. You said no.
Debra: Right.
Ray: Then I proposed; you were 24
BOTH: No again.
Ray: Right, then I took a year off to regroup then I came back with a job; BOOM, married. That would make you 32----ish.
Robert: When did he get this?
Marie: Oh, that's an award your brother got for his sports column.
Robert: Never ends for Raymond—
Marie: Oh, poor Robbie.
Robert: Everybody loves Raymond. I go to work, people shoot at me; Ray goes to work, and people do the wave. Then he sits down, has a hotdog, doodles on a piece of paper, and they give him a trophy.
Marie: I've got baking soda! I smelled something questionable in the fridge.
Ray: From across the street?
Marie: No, when I was here yesterday. Oh, It's worse!
Marie: There's more fruit?
Ray: Time to leave, Dad. Buckle up... What're you doing?
Frank: I'm sucking the youth!
(Later)
Debra: The twins' heads smell like Old Spice. Your dad was here. Sucking the youth.
Ray: Why don't you go out with Linda tomorrow?
Debra: And leave the kids with your parents?
Ray: No, I'll do the kids
Debra: Pffff...
Ray: Ah, I can't do that. What about the time when you went to your aunt's for three days?
Debra: I took the kids with me!
Ray: Yeah, but I fed myself
Marie: But where is Debra?
Ray: She went to the movies with Linda.
Marie: The movies? Some people get to live it up.
Ray: Hey, look at this, Cal Ripken signed my hat!
Debra: Oh, that's great, look at this, Gregory spit up on my shirt.
Ray: I'm not trading.